Insight
by hatondog
Summary: While waiting to learn who has been selected for Astraeus, Jo and Zane have time to do some thinking. Set after the interviews in "This One Time at Space Camp." 2 chapters up! 1st is Jo's and is K. 2nd is Zane's...where's that T extra plus rating again?
1. Chapter 1

Insight (Chapter 1)

Jo paced across her office. 15 steps in one direction, 15 in the other. Look at her watch, turn, repeat.

The Astraeus candidate interviews had concluded an hour earlier. Having already withdrawn her application, Jo was the only interviewee who was certain of her fate. Still, she was nervous for Zane, worried that rejection for the mission would be the impetus that would push him out of Eureka and out of her life. Even if he stayed while others went to space, he might turn his back on the community, threatening their chances for a deeper connection. So it was with no small amount of anxiety that she read Senator Wen's summons to return to the interview room at 5 pm to discuss a "matter of some importance."

The topic couldn't be Jo's decision—she'd been very clear about its finality, and the selection panel didn't seem inclined to argue. With hundreds of applicants for the few slots on the mission, reluctance on any candidate's part was an easy basis for disqualification.

A security issue was the most likely cause for the meeting. Yet Zane was so much the focus of Jo's thoughts that she couldn't put her concern for him entirely aside. It was almost a relief when the time came to head for the interview room.

When she entered, the room was much as she'd left it. The bioscanner system was still in place, humming softly. However, the only other occupant of the room was Senator Wen, her fellow panel members having departed. Despite being barraged with memories from dozens of scientists whose raging egos made them all too willing to share, Wen looked as fresh as she had in the morning. In comparison, Jo felt increasingly frazzled, although she struggled to keep her expression calm.

"Ms. Lupo. Thank you for coming. Please have a seat." With a start, Jo realized that the seat the Senator was referring to was the one at the bioscanner. "Don't be concerned," the Senator continued. "We aren't delving into your memories. Actually, I want your input regarding someone else's."

Jo felt her breath stop, grateful for having turned away to step toward the chair. _Someone else's._ What memory could have led Wen to request a private meeting with GD's head of security? _The timeline change. Oh, God, _thought Jo.

Fargo, Grace and Zane had all been hooked up to the bioscanner today. All three knew more than enough about the trip she, Carter, Henry, Allison and Fargo had taken back to 1947 to earn them sanctions for engaging in unauthorized time travel.

She'd had the same worry earlier today when she'd arrived to have her own mind explored. Then, she'd barely had time to be terrified before fury at not being told about the mining of GD brains took over. The panel members took pains to assure her that no memory could be accessed which the subject didn't want to share. After undergoing the process herself, her concern had abated.

But not all minds were created equal, she thought. Grace and Zane were more than capable of blocking unwanted excursions into their thoughts. In fact, Zane made an art form out of keeping people at arms' length. But Fargo? Fargo and flustered went hand in hand.

Suddenly it was all too easy to imagine him cracking under pressure, images of him crouching naked on the grounds of the Army camp Eureka had once been flashing across the bioscanner's display screen. Once he realized what the panel had seen, would he have the presence of mind to concoct a reasonable explanation? True, Fargo had grown leaps and bounds in maturity and competence since returning from the past. But he desperately wanted to impress the panel, and a desperate Fargo was an erratic one. Jo's heart sank, but she fought to maintain a calm exterior as she sat.

"Let me get right to the point," the Senator began. "We've reached a unanimous decision in selecting 19 of the 20 team members for Astraeus. Unfortunately, we're in disagreement about who will take the last slot. Frankly, my co-panelists believe that my choice poses a significant security risk. Hence your presence here—I want your input regarding those concerns, based on your experience with the candidate." She pressed a button and words appeared across the bioscanner screen.

ZANE DONOVAN, File No. 233145.1

Jo's eyes widened. Zane, not Fargo. Had _Zane_ revealed what he knew about the altered timeline? If so, had it been…deliberate?

No. Although Jo wasn't yet sure that she fully trusted this Zane, she was certain that he wouldn't have intentionally endangered her or the others. Had Wen pressured him? With what leverage? His pardon was final—only the President could revoke it, and Jo doubted that even Wen could convince him that Zane's status took priority over other things on the man's plate.

Jo cleared her throat. "What do you need to know?"

"If he can be trusted," Wen asked.

_Seriously? _Jo thought, nearly laughing. The irony of being asked the very the question she'd been plagued with since realizing this Zane was a sophomoric, testosterone-driven iteration of the man she once knew was stunning. Jo could only stutter in response. "I..I,-".

"Ms. Lupo," Wen interrupted. "I know about your…" her eyebrows raised, almost smirking. "…involvement with Mr. Donovan. I assume that you consider him to be at least _somewhat_ trustworthy." Jo flushed, but held her gaze. "What we need to know, however, is not how well he interacts with one person, but how well he will work in a team. I can tell you that his behavior during his interview didn't help his cause with my co-panelists." _Oh, no. _Jo moaned to herself. _Zane, what did you do?_

"It did, however, intrigue me. He's clearly not accustomed to working with others and has little respect for authority. If we had any doubt in that regard, he sealed it by walking out of the interview before we were finished with him." Jo closed her eyes. _You idiot,_ she thought. "By itself, that would ordinarily make someone ineligible for this kind of assignment. But I'm acutely aware that this team will be made up of nothing but scientists."

"And with no disrespect, it's become apparent during my time here at GD that scientists at this level are deeply attached to a way of decision-making that's foreign to me. They pose hypotheses and want to test them for weaknesses before concluding whether they're valid. As such, they tend to remain open to a variety of outcomes. While necessary to scientific achievement, that kind of analysis can be, shall we say, inefficient in the face of a crisis. In a crisis situation, someone who decides where they want to go and is willing to bend the facts to get there can be invaluable. I believe Mr. Donovan is such a person."

Despite her best efforts to squelch the impulse, Jo couldn't help but smile. Wen's lips twitched in response. "I see that you agree. The question remains, however, whether Mr. Donovan can be counted on to use his…well, _skills_ for the benefit of others. Or, when push comes to shove, will he put his own interests first?"

Jo's smile faded. She really wanted to see Zane go to Titan. It meant so much to him. And having such a high level of trust placed in him by so many people would be a litmus test of sorts. Either he would rise to the occasion by demonstrating a level of maturity he only flirted with now, or he'd treat the mission with the same cavalier attitude that lead him to "borrow" an ion pulse dampener for the Apollo capsule rather than build one as requested.

The seriousness of the concern over Zane's selection for Astraeus was suddenly and painfully obvious. He and Fargo had barely survived their flight into space on the capsule because Zane had cut corners in taking the dampener from the BCE. If he did something similar on Titan, many people could suffer or even die. Jo swallowed hard before speaking.

"I don't know if I can answer that question, Senator. The Zane Donovan I know-" _Both of them,_ thought Jo. "—would never intentionally put another person in danger. He can be immature, even selfish at times, but he can also be incredibly kind. And dedicated. He's…he's a good person." Listening to her own words, Jo was surprised to find she believed them. In many ways, this Zane was still a mystery to her. But he _was_ a good person, just as the Zane she'd once known had been.

"Maybe it would help if you had more information. That's why I wanted to meet here. I'd like you to see something, then tell me if it informs your opinion or changes it in any way." The bioscanner screen flickered, then filled with an image of a kitten clutching at a rope. "HANG IN THERE" the image implored. Jo was confused. She'd been brought here to look at a cheesy inspirational poster?

Then she realized what she was seeing. This was Zane's memory, the one he'd chosen to share with the selection panel. She gasped and spun her head toward Wen. "I thought these memories were highly confidential, that no one other than the panel members would be allowed to see them without the candidate's permission."

Although Jo's outrage at the invasion of Zane's privacy was real, so was her curiosity. The prospect of looking directly into his mind was irresistible. If this was a cartoon, tiny good and evil Jos would be dancing around her shoulder, arguing loudly. On one hand, it was wrong to watch a memory Zane had never intended for her to see. On the other hand…oh, hell. Who was she kidding? She'd give up her guns to see what was on that screen.

"Given the stakes, we decided that the security interests in play outweighed Mr. Donovan's right to privacy. Do you not want to see it?" The Senator looked at Jo with an expression bordering on smugness. If she knew—however she knew—that Jo and Zane were "involved," then she knew that the recording of Zane's memory was to Jo what a sandwich would be to a starving man. Essential.

Jo sighed in defeat, and turned back to the dangling kitten.

The sight of Zane as a 10 year old boy took her breath away. He was staring at a completed test paper, waiting for his classmates to finish the exam. It seemed that he'd been waiting a long time, and Jo wondered briefly if anyone had bothered to recognize Zane's intellect before standardized testing confirmed it. Or had he been abandoned to boredom in grade level classes, isolated by his genius from the other kids?

Jo bit her lip as she realized that she and Zane might have more in common than she'd known. Until succeeding in the Astraeus entrance exams (thanks in no small part to Zane's tutoring), Jo had felt out of place in Eureka's herd of geniuses. Maybe Zane had felt the same way as a child—always the answer to the question "which of these things is not like the others?"

Although very young, the Zane on the screen had his older self's eyes. Eyes too old for the face they looked out of. This Zane looked…sad. A lump formed in Jo's throat as she heard his "You and me both" in response to his teacher's cheerful comment about looking forward to seeing Zane's father.

Watching him standing hopefully in front of his class, showing them doctored photos of his absent father to gain their approval was heartwrenching. So much so that she nearly shouted "leave him alone" at the federal officers who took Zane and the classified documents he'd hacked from NASA's mainframe out of his class.

By this time, she'd all but forgotten Wen's presence in the room. She'd entirely forgotten that the scene unfolding before her was two decades old. Only the appearance of the adult Zane in the recording, watching his younger self with the same expression of sadness, broke the spell. Jo sat, eyes closed and fighting tears, until Wen spoke softly.

"I think I have my answer. Thank you, Ms. Lupo."

Jo sat for a moment, trying to collect herself. In her mind, the child Zane's face appeared superimposed over her image of his adult self. She felt like she'd been given a gift, one that connected the dots between the Zane she'd just seen and the one she knew.

"No, I don't know that you do." Jo turned, not bothering to hide her emotion. "Zane isn't a loner. He's just been alone." She stood, facing the Senator. "He'll do whatever is necessary to make sure that the mission succeeds—for everyone on it. It may not be what you ask for, but he'll give you what you need." Jo glanced back at the screen, now blank. "Pick him, Senator. Trust _me_-you need him on this."

With a nod, Jo left the room. It was time that she and grown-up Zane had a talk. He might be going to Titan without her, but he wasn't going to be by himself anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Insight (Chapter 2)

Zane sat in his living room, staring at the computer screen in front of him. A page of code ran down the screen, ending in _Command? Press 'Y' for Yes or 'N' for No_. The cursor blinked as he sat, fingers tapping against the mouse.

_Yes or No? _ With the first choice, he'd have access to the file he'd spent the last few hours hacking into, Jo's recorded memory from her Astraeus interview earlier that afternoon. He'd been debating which key to click, _Y _or _N_, for several minutes. Hesitation was an unusual feeling for Zane, which he tried repeatedly to overcome by ordering himself to proceed. If Jo wouldn't share her thoughts with him, at least he could see which ones she'd shared with others. It was a rare opportunity, one he'd be crazy to pass up.

And yet. There was no question that most people, Jo at the top of the list, would consider what he'd done in hacking the selection panel's files to be wrong. Even he had to admit it was stupid. The risk was enormous—if caught, he'd certainly be eliminated from contention for the Titan mission. In fact, there was a fairly decent chance that he'd end up back in jail, even if his pardon wasn't revoked. After all, new crime, new time to serve. It would be absurd to chance it, especially if the memory Jo had shared didn't reveal anything new to him.

_Yes or No?_ Zane pulled his hand back from the mouse and snatched up the stack of papers lying on his desk. He could recite the contents of the top sheet from memory, but still felt a jolt of awe every time he read it.

"_Good cause having been shown, it is hereby ordered that Zane Donovan, the person identified further herein, is reprieved from all penalties associated with his conviction for violation of 18 United States Code Section 2701, et seq., Cybercrimes. All records of the conviction in the possession of the United States Government shall be expunged."_

Two sentences that had changed the course of his life. A second chance arranged for him by the very person whose privacy he was poised to invade.

Sighing, he tossed the papers back onto the desk. Before he could change his mind, he pressed "N" and pushed back from the computer. It wasn't lost on Zane that this was one of the only times he'd resisted the temptation to go electronically where he wasn't allowed to be since he was 10 years old.

His mouth twisted as he remembered the looks on the faces of the Astraeus selection panel members as they watched his memory of, as Senator Wen put it, his "first felony." He'd seen the same looks on his classmates' faces when he'd briefly returned to school after the incident, before his mother pulled him out to be homeschooled. Like he didn't fit in and never would. Not in the fifth grade, not on the Astraeus mission.

But they didn't understand. His willingness to push boundaries and ability to improvise around problems on the fly was what made him a necessary element of the Astraeus crew. He wasn't 10 years old anymore…he wasn't even the impulse-control challenged hothead he'd been when he arrived in Eureka. Over time, the opportunities offered by access to GD technology became more important than stirring up trouble to attract attention. While he'd never been a model Eureka citizen, he'd restricted his extracurricular activities to things that wouldn't threaten his job or risk his return to prison.

He could be trusted to do whatever was necessary on the mission. In fact, he was convinced that not having him on it could put the rest of the team at risk, since he was better positioned to do well in a crisis than any other Astraeus candidate he knew. They needed him.

Thoughts of other candidates led Zane to think of Jo again. He was pretty sure that she still didn't fully trust him, although he also thought that she was starting to feel as strongly for him as she had for his other timeline self. He was at a loss to know what he could do to break through her defenses, and not sure that he wanted to.

Jo had shown him glimpses of what a deep connection with her could be like, and the prospect of having that with her both excited and scared him. So far, his discomfort with real intimacy had outweighed his desire to push their relationship to the next level. Which left them stuck, neither entirely together or moving apart, with no clear path forward.

In fact, when he thought about it, the idea that he and Jo had been in a serious relationship in another time seemed absurd. As he'd once told her, he was a felon and she a grunt with a gun. By all rights, they were natural enemies. And in this timeline, they had been—until time changed, and they no longer were.

Yet she still insisted they didn't fit, an accusation he'd lived with in one form or another his whole life. He thought he'd become comfortable with the idea of being the odd man out, but hearing it from Jo hurt. It hurt a lot, which made him angry at her and at their situation. He'd spent a lot of time building up defenses against rejection and hated that she'd made him feel out of place, yet again.

But…sometimes both of their defenses failed and it was _good_. Good enough to be potentially worth fighting themselves and each other to have more than just now and then. Closing his eyes, Zane thought back to the night which had ended this morning with them side by side in Café Diem, waiting to be summoned to their interviews.

Both of them had been tense, the interviews the only obstacle remaining in their efforts to be selected for Titan. They'd gone running together to blow off steam. Although Jo had intended to return to SARAH for the night, Zane had persuaded her to join him for dinner at his place. Thanks to nerves, neither one of them was fit company for anyone else anyway.

With only mild resistance, Jo also let herself be talked into taking a shower while Zane pulled together food for them. Despite telling him otherwise, she wasn't at all surprised when he joined her—she'd known this was where the night was headed, even if she hadn't admitted it to herself. She was surprised, however, at his behavior—when he'd opened the shower door, he hadn't said a word. Instead, he looked at her for a moment, eyes serious. Just as she was becoming self-conscious, he stepped forward and lifted her into his arms. Without bothering to let her dry off, he carried her into his bedroom and laid her on the bed.

Still silent, he looked a question at her. She reached a hand toward him, which he took as he laid down beside her. "Zane?" she asked, curious at his solemn attitude.

Zane wasn't sure why he felt as though something important was at stake. They'd slept together many times over the past couple of months, and he couldn't think of a reason why this time would be different. When he'd cajoled Jo into coming back to his place, he'd only intended to give them both an evening of enjoyable distraction. Suddenly, however, this felt like something more. Maybe he was just confusing anxiety over the Astraeus selections with his feelings for her, but he still couldn't manage the shift back to the casual attitude he'd had during their run.

In answer to her question, Zane rolled over onto Jo, watching as her pupils dilated. Without breaking eye contact, he pushed inside her, noting with some relief that she was more than ready for him. Despite the overwhelming urge to move, and quickly, Zane held himself still until Jo broke the silence. "_Zane,_" she said, this time in an imploring tone. In one relatively fluid motion, he rose to his knees, pulling her with him until she was sitting in his lap, their connection unbroken. Breathing harder, he rested his forehead against Jo's, eyes closed as her fingers stroked his cheek.

Confused by his own emotions, Zane kept his eyes closed as they moved slowly together, afraid that opening them would reveal what he was feeling. It wasn't until his lips came across wetness on Jo's cheek as they kissed that he looked at her again. She was definitely crying, but didn't appear sad. Instead, she was smiling slightly, expression gentle. "Jo…" he said softly before stopping. He had no idea what to say.

Their eyes remain locked as they rocked together, pausing to kiss slowly before the need to continue took over again. Eventually, desire became too strong for further delay, and they tumbled back onto the bed, watching each other until neither could keep their eyes open any longer. For a long while afterward, they lay together, Jo's arms keeping Zane body against hers until his concern for her ability to breathe drove him to roll to her side. She rolled too until her head rested on his chest. She pressed a kiss to it as she reached over him to grasp his hand. Fingers entwined, they both fell asleep.

The next morning, they'd woken late. Feeling rushed and curiously shy, neither one brought up the intense experience they'd shared a few hours before. Instead, Jo left for SARAH and a change of clothes with only a kiss to Zane, though a long one. They agreed to meet at Café Diem, where the events of the day would allow no time to talk about what, if anything, had changed between them.

Feeling unsettled, Zane looked at the time stamp on his computer screen. 5:45 pm. The candidate selections were being announced at 6, and he wanted to be with Jo when they found out if one, both or neither of them was going to space.

He stood, grabbing his jacket and keys. Whether or not they were going to Titan together, or at all, it was time they had a talk.


End file.
